Imagine listening in on these raw, unfiltered conversations with real couples… One partner is in $300,000 in debt, but shrugs it off. The other cries at night, anxious about the future. A couple that’s so worried about money, they never feel they’ll have enough. When they eat out, they order chicken instead of steak to save $10. Their household income: $600,000. Two parents who feel overwhelmed by work, kids, and debt. When I ask them how they’d describe their lives, they instantly say the same word: “Stuck.” Ramit Sethi asks the questions we wish we all could ask, presenting a totally different philosophy on money: • Spend extravagantly on the things you love, as long as you cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t. • Ask $30,000 questions, not $3 questions. • A Rich Life is more than math -- it’s mastering your money psychology. From the author of the bestselling book, ‘I Will Teach You To Be Rich,’ learn how money psychology affects these couples… and how to create your own Rich Life.
A quick favor to ask, if you enjoy this podcast, do me a favor. Please go to Apple or Spotify and click follow. See, part of the reason that I started this podcast is that money is taboo. And my dream is to be able to inspire millions of people just like you to build a healthier relationship with money. And so by clicking follow on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it really helps my team and it helps this podcast Get in front of more couples who need it. Thank you again for being an IWT listener. It means a lot to my team, and it means a lot to me. I find money. It's cliche to say, but, like, it's almost, like, root of all evil. There's so much bad that can happen because of money. Every time I try and have the conversation with them, okay. This is what you should be investing. Like he grows. He rolls his eyes at me, investing. It's like it feels like gambling. Having lived in many other places, there's a lot of issues I have with the way that America is set up financially for for its citizens. It's the whole thing that, like, my self worth is tied to a number. And if you don't max it out, that means I'm worthless. And I think part of that for me is my net worth and living the lifestyle that we live. And being able to shove it in my mom's face to be like I told you I'd still make it. I'd like to introduce you to Fernando and Anushka. They're both in their early thirties. They're both Sri Lankan immigrants who experienced some challenging childhoods related to the mental health of their parents. They got married. They moved to San Diego. And in many ways, they are living their rich life. But still, they can't seem to connect about money. And when I ask them what's going on, I hear about some very peculiar
At the end of his rope, he didn't know what to do. Maybe he would even be better off alone. Now as I go through today's conversation, I asked them questions to try to figure out what's really going on. I have a feeling you're gonna be frustrated. I know that I was, But I want to emphasize to you how important it is to treat all of our guests with respect, including on any social media comments. That's what I expect for the couples who are brave enough to come on this podcast and share their numbers and their entire financial lives with all of us. Now onto the conversation with Peter and Megan. I started by asking them, what would be an amazing place that we could get to by the end of this conversation? And I want you to listen to their answers because they provide a huge clue as to how they both see their current situation totally different. Just knowing how to properly handle money, how to put it in, like, different areas, like bank accounts, like IRA type of things, savings, stuff like that, to better our future. Mhmm. To where we're gonna be happy. Okay. Peter, how about you? I just don't wanna be so nervous, and I'm tired of being overwhelmed about everything. I was hoping for, put a little fire underneath Megan's I feel like, I tried talking to her before and, you know, just kinda I feel like I get nowhere. How come the answers that both of you gave me are so different? To a different minds, I guess. I feel like whatever I say is like, yep. No problem. Okay. I I just not not getting any help there. So you feel that Megan is disengaged with money? Absolutely.
He hides his true feelings a lot, and he buries them deep down. When I ask you to be honest with me, I don't think you're being honest with me. That's why I ask you. Are you being honest? A lot. Because I know you're not. I can tell that you are holding back, and I need you to actually be honest with me and tell me the truth. I need you to help me in a way that you don't currently help me. Everything else you do is great, but I need you to be in it with me. So I'm not doing this by myself, because I feel like I've been doing it by myself for a long time. I have held back for the fear of the fight. I know. I'm willing to stand there with you if you're willing to hear me honestly and actually take my thoughts into consideration when it comes to the finances. I don't feel like I'm always heard when, when we do talk about it. Yeah. That's probably true. I'm very stubborn and set in my ways, and I know I need to change that. And that's a big part of why I've kind of been passive all of this time. Why say anything if what I'm gonna say is just gonna fall to the floor? I feel terrible that I've let it go for this long, but and I still do. We shouldn't have got the pony, And sometimes I do I don't wanna say ignore you, but maybe it is I ignore you. I ignore what you have to say because I have, in my mind, what we should do, and I should take your thoughts into consideration more.
Doing it wrong, what would that mean? That I would hope that he would point it out and correct it or help give me a better idea of what to do. When was the last time he's done that? Never. So can I ask again? If you were doing your finances wrong, what would that mean to you? That I have that I'm responsible for putting us in the position that we are in now. Mhmm. I'm the reason we're in debt. I'm the reason that we can't pay our bills because it's all on me. That I've I've failed our I don't know, say our marriage, but I've I've failed to provide us a life that we deserve. What does that mean deserve? You know, we bought this we're still in the same house that we bought when we first got married. And when we bought the house, it was supposed to be a starter house. And here we are 13 years later, still in the same house, still in the middle of renovating it. None of the renovations are done. I thought we would be in a nicer place. I thought we would be done with renovations. I thought we would be not living paycheck to paycheck. Technically, we've made it. We're making way more than we made when we first got married, but we we haven't. We're still in the same place that we were 13 years ago, But worse, actually, because we're so much in debt. So it feels counter counterintuitive to, you know, what I thought we would be where I thought we would be. Yeah. We're gonna have money to be able to what? Tell me. Go on a vacation, a honeymoon. We've never done that ever. What else? Tell me. Honestly,
I had a Ford Transit van, so he took my car and we got rid of the truck, but I put 4,000 down of my savings to lower the payment. So we were gonna save about $300 a month, and Travis and I pay our car payments separate. So this wasn't helping the family budget. I was trying to I felt his stress, and I wanted to help take some of that off and also help us out as a family. So we got I got, like, a Nissan Rogue. Well, then within a month or 2, Travis came home really excited to tell me that he had bought a rack and an awning for the van. What what what is that? So it's like, like, a rack for the top, so you can climb on the top of the van and sit on it. Travis surfs, so you could sit and watch the surf from the top of the van. And the awning is like it protects you from the sun? Yes. So he was really excited to come home and tell me he bought this Mhmm. And he did it on payments. And the payment was almost $300 a month. Oh, wow. So I took that as a personal hit because even though I viewed at the time when I spent that $4,000, I viewed it as our money. Mhmm. And I felt bad. I took the wind out of his sails. But it actually took me about 24 hours to approach him about it. That was our first moment in our relationship marriage where we had to, like, come to head about a money decision because before that point, he runs his business, I run my business, we put equal amounts of money into one account, and that's where our bills are paid from. Everything outside of that, him, me. What did you feel when he told you that he had got the rack and the awning for $300 a month? I was disappointed in the in that moment. I felt that this sacrifice I had made, and I view my savings as, like, my own personal security blanket was, like, taken away. But I was also excited for him because I knew that's was something fun and exciting.
